Self-assertive people are not just born the way they are created. Of course, there are conditions that can help with the development of qualities or abilities. But in the end, we all have to work to change the way we behave and act. Only in this way can we become better and more constructive. There are certain characteristics of assertive people that we can pinpoint.
The term ‘assertive’ can be defined as the ability to relate to others in a sincere and uplifting way. To be able to create a bridge that leads to trust between people. It can also be defined as an attitude towards oneself and others. This attitude leads to a balance between human rights and the responsibilities we have towards others. And at the same time, mutual respect is maintained.
It is much easier to create theories based on this instead of carrying it around in our everyday lives. Self-assertive people are the fruit of the efforts and actions that form this attitude. Ultimately, all of our efforts will go a long way toward achieving learning to live well. It is worth identifying those characteristics that make us assertive. In this article we will talk about seven of them.
1. Self-assertive people know what respect really is
The word ‘respect’ is defined as the ability to value something or someone and treat them with care. This is an ability that assertive people possess. They apply it to themselves, but most importantly to their surroundings. Whether it is people, ideas, work or animals.
First, respect is the opposite of violence. Abuse is never an option under any circumstances. If there is a disagreement or conflict, then self-assertive people will deal with it with self-respect and respect for others. This is often transferred to an attempt to preserve one’s own dignity as well as that of others.
This respectful attitude is also reflected in concepts, ideas and ideologies. Even when someone does not share values and beliefs, a self-assertive person does not look down on others. An assertive person understands that there is value in all people and that their achievements must not be ignored.
2. They can relate sincerely to others
One of the characteristics of assertive people is that they prioritize good relationships with other people. They understand that they cannot create relationships based on lies or hypocrisy. Instead, they show themselves as they are. And they want others to understand what they can expect from them.
They want to avoid behaviors that create discomfort in the long run, such as condescension. If they disagree with something, then they say it directly. They do not sacrifice their identity to avoid confrontations. In the same way, they choose their friends wisely. If they do not feel a real connection with a person, then they will not force a friendship. They are not motivated by benefits, but on the contrary by their values.
3. They understand, accept and value themselves
Self-assertive people have self-confidence, but it does not come from pride or superiority. They feel confident in who they are because they understand themselves. And this understanding comes from observation, self-evaluation and the ability to have a constructive inner dialogue. This means that they accept responsibility for themselves as individuals who have both strengths and weaknesses.
Self-insight leads to understanding. And that, in turn, leads to acceptance and self-respect. To be assertive requires that one is humble and understands that people are human and therefore deficient. It is in the “feeling of inadequacy,” where the will and motivation to grow and improve oneself in various ways must be found.
4. They have self-control and emotional stability
Self-assertive people can always regulate their emotions. And because of this ability, they are predominantly calm and in control. They understand that we all have emotions and that those emotions need to be dealt with. It is not because they do not feel anger, anxiety or pain. They have simply learned that if they lose control, then these powerful emotions can lead to an inappropriate expression of them.
This principle can also be applied to behavior in relation to others. Self-assertive people show empathy for the feelings of others. They want others to feel calm and in control as well. Self-assertive people do not feed the fire or try to manipulate others to accuse them or point out weaknesses. They help others find themselves so they never lose control in a situation.
5. They cultivate their ability to communicate
Many problems stem from poor communication. In the same way, many problems can be solved with communication and dialogue. When communication tools are not used properly, it becomes difficult to share opinions. Maybe we are not capturing the honesty, the sincere desire to find a mutual understanding. For that, we need to use the ability to find the best way to express something or simply to explain it most simply.
Self-insight and reflection also develop these abilities to communicate. This means that a person has the ability to express – clearly, simply and honestly – what they feel. And not only that, but that they can also listen to what the other has to say. The thing is, assertive people understand the value of communication. They are willing to invest in improving the way they communicate.
6. A characteristic of assertive people is that they can set boundaries
We can not always have great relationships with other people. The truth is that we sometimes encounter people who mistreat others. Or who are bitter and have a desire to harm others. This creates tensions to which self-assertive people can say “ stop. “They understand that everything has a limit and that there are situations where it is necessary for them to set a clear limit.
In the same way, they can not always live up to the expectations or desires of others. This will eventually cause a sense of guilt to blossom and may never be recognized. Self-assertive people will not allow this. A self-confident person can say “no” without creating conflict.
7. They are emotionally independent
Self-assertive people also have the ability to tolerate and assimilate rejection or indifference from others. They are not actively trying to gain the recognition of others. Rather, they seek to be true to their own values, beliefs, and needs. But of course, self-assertive people, like everyone else, want to be recognized by others. But if this does not happen, then they will not be tempted to act against their own values.
We do not have every single one of these characteristics. In other words, there are no people who are assertive in everything they say or do. No human is perfect and we have room to grow in all our aspects. To achieve this goal, it’s probably just trying to get a little better, a little at a time.