In our society, the most important goal is to be the best. From an early age, our performance in different areas is evaluated with a grade, regardless of whether we like what we do or not.
People who get 12 in almost everything are considered the “best”. It allows them to gain recognition and admiration from people around them.
Usually this approval makes them happy with themselves. Who does not like to be recognized for his positive qualities and be appreciated for his achievement?
At the opposite end , those who do not get amazing results end up being mocked by their peers, teachers and even their own parents. Some parents reprimand or punish their children. Because if they are not the best, they will never be suitable as adults.
To be the best at achieving self-esteem
When you are the best at something, you feel complete. Being number one gives you greater self-confidence because it attracts the admiration of others , as well as the positive consequences of others, which we appreciate most.
When we say positive consequences, we are talking here about things such as fame, success, money… Things that we value disproportionately in our society and that we have to fight with beaks and claws for just as much the price.
Everyone wants to be the best at what they do. For what is the point, if one is not?
This is the self-esteem trap or the love you have for yourself. We often associate love for ourselves with external character traits that create a kind of dependent self-esteem.
We love and admire ourselves if we are attractive, tall, thin, educated, have work, are in a relationship… Or if we are the best at what we do. Therefore, we hate ourselves, scold ourselves, and punish ourselves if we do not have everything we have just stated.
Therefore, it does not make sense to try to achieve self-esteem by stating your outward qualities and results, as it does not necessarily make you love yourself more.
Strengthen your self-esteem
To be the best, the most hard-working, the most delicious, the friendliest, number one in the class – it’s all just air. It has no value in itself. And it gives you less than you think. It makes you think that being the best is the most valuable thing there is. Unfortunately, almost everyone thinks this.
You do not gain greater self-esteem by being better than everyone else. It does not make you happier either. If that were the case, there would not be so many successful, famous, rich, attractive people who have admitted that they are very unhappy and whose lives have ended tragically.
How many famous athletes have become drug addicts because they could not handle the many demands – both from themselves and from their coaches – that they were exposed to? How many actors, singers and artists have taken their own lives or have fallen victim to their own abuse?
What happened to the idea that “by being the best you will have a better self-esteem and be happy”?
To be the worst and stubbornly accept yourself
If you want to be the best, it only gives a good dose of anxiety. A culture of achievement; of being a worthy man or woman; of winning in life through blood, sweat and tears – all this has done is create a wide range of unhappy people. Souls who want to achieve self-chosen goals that they have no reason to pursue as no one is obligated to do so. And it will not give any money in the purse strings.
In addition to anxiety, the will to be the best will push you into a deep depression if you are not able to be all that you want to be.
The only thing you will eventually achieve is that your joy and love for yourself will be dependent on external factors, rather than coming from the foundation of yourself. So if you want to avoid being complicit in this irrational view, you can start by exercising unconditional acceptance. Acceptance and self-esteem may seem to be the same, but they are actually different.
Healthy acceptance does not depend on being the best, worst, most delicious, ugliest, smartest or least intelligent. The acceptance is that you care about yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself and pamper yourself no matter who you are and what you have done. D u simply love yourself, because you are a person of value just by being born into this world.
It’s what is on the inside that counts
Nothing external can contribute more or less value to a human being. For humans is not measured quantitatively. There is no ruler you can use to measure someone’s worth. The condemnations we place on ourselves and other people are a product of our culture; a social representation.
We encourage you to reflect on the following. Imagine that you are the worst at something – at work, at school, in your group of friends – and despite that, you are happy and satisfied with yourself. It’s possible, right? So if it is possible for you to imagine it, then you can start moving towards it in the real world. We hope it’s a road full of wonderful discoveries!