There are various factors that impair your ability to appreciate what you do and who you are. The most important of these is having grown up in a family environment where all members had a hard time loving themselves. Parents with a poor view of themselves generally transfer the same beliefs to their children. In their adult lives, many of these people continue to practice habits that magnify their lack of love for themselves. They are a form of distraction or emotional shield. Habits that try to promote the idea that they are worth nothing. So they create a defensive wall against their own vulnerability. None of these habits help. Below we will warn you about what some of these are.
A lack of love for oneself in childhood is manifested through abuse, emotional and / or physical distance, unnecessary criticism, insults or differences. There is no recognition of the child’s personal value. Without discovering it, the child learns that their feelings and needs have no meaning for the people who matter to them.
This situation leads to a number of associated events. Those who feel limited love for themselves are more prone to abuse outside the home. They do not know how to defend themselves and they are not sure they have the right to do so. They also tend not to put much effort into their work. They become more easily distracted and they fear success.
To demean yourself
When you are someone who speaks ill of yourself, you are not doing yourself any favors. It is not a sign of humility, nor of acknowledging your mistakes.
To demean oneself is to be trapped in the criticism of the past, and to use it now, so that one does not forget that one obviously has no right to see oneself in another way.
But you are much more than what you have been told. You have many qualities and abilities to discover. You just have to start accepting and loving yourself. Then you can see yourself as others would.
To give complete right in what others say
You may feel that others “know more” or “understand better” or “have more authority” to say or do. Often you do not stop to evaluate whether what others are saying is correct; it is enough that it is they who say or do it.
If you stop and think for a moment, you may find that it is not true. It is always a matter of connecting it with the right point of view and giving value to what one finds.
To be a victim
It’s possible. that when you are faced with problems, your answer is to feel sorry for yourself. You see yourself as a defenseless child who has to give in to negative situations without being able to do anything against them.
You have not discovered that you have the resources to handle difficult situations. That the most important thing is not the bad that happens, but how you receive it and the importance you put into it. If you stop feeling sorry for yourself and make an effort to find solutions, you will find that even the worst times also have great opportunities.
To demand more of yourself
Those who feel a lack of love for themselves tend to see life in the pursuit of perfection. It is difficult for them to set reasonable goals and to appreciate what they achieve. They always think they need to achieve more. And that what they have achieved so far is not important. This is an unconscious trap where you are always in debt to yourself.
If you do not love yourself, nothing you do will be enough or have value. Your successes will not be worth anything compared to the achievements of others. But do not make this mistake: if you do not begin to appreciate yourself, it will not be so easy for others to appreciate you. In addition, how will you begin to appreciate yourself if you are not able to give yourself a pat on the back when you move forward?
Do not be afraid to celebrate yourself and every step you take. The big goals in life consist of small things.
Pictures of Alejandra Mavroski