The people who are with you because of a secret motive do not deserve you. They are not really interested in you as a person, but in what they can get out of you. In their world, you are a means to an end. You are not a goal in yourself. They have a thousand and one ways to get what they want. When they finally achieve that, you are nothing more than one person on their list. You deserve so much more. You deserve true love. Love is wanting to be together.
Someone who truly loves you does not need you. They prefer you. They do not choose you just to use you to achieve something. They choose you to share their time with you and open their heart to you. Their eyes and their actions show their true face. Sincere love and feelings are easy to spot and you can feel it.
Let us explore the difference between those who love you because of their interest in themselves and those who love you because they are truly happy for you.
True love is free from need and self-interest
When love is genuine, there is more than self-interest: there are shared interests. Instead of being demanding, love gives us the will and desire to do everything. Someone who truly loves you, chooses you for who you are, and accepts everything about you. The good as well as the bad qualities. Someone who truly loves you is really trying to love you despite your shortcomings.
Ultimately, the person who sincerely cares about you will not worry about when you call them or how often you see each other. They’re just there for you. They know you. They know that even if you smile, you may be breaking down inside. Their sole purpose is to help you glue the pieces back together.
Someone who feels true love for you shows their feelings by performing small actions without expecting anything in return. They are not motivated by self-interest, but by the well-being they feel when they make you smile or when they embrace you. And even when you get angry, they will try to understand you. And even if they think you’re not always right, they’ll weigh your relationship higher than petty quarrels.
Love does not consist of self-interest but of wanting to be together without conditions
Someone who truly loves you wants to increase your happiness.
A person who is motivated by self-interest believes that giving always means getting something in return and will act accordingly. They give you things but expect something in return. If you do not meet their expectation of this, then they will remind you of it and mention all the things they have done for you. This is not love. It is to use others for one’s own benefit without sincerely wishing to be together. Someone who is with you because of self-interest simply disguises their self-preoccupation. They will not hesitate to use emotional blackmail to achieve what they want. It is important to pay attention and keep your eyes open. It is the only way to prevent one from becoming a slave to their will and desires.
The person who gives you his time gives you life
The most beautiful gift a person can give is to share his time with another. They give you their minutes, hours and seconds. And thereby a part of their lives. They also know this well themselves.
Coffee appointments late at night, quick visits during the lunch break at your work, a call or a “good morning message” on WhatsApp… These are all actions that show care and appreciation from the people who perform them.
The person who gives you their time gives you a part of their life, by wanting to be together. Just because they love you. And they do not expect anything in return. They do it because they feel like it, because you are on their list of priorities, and because they care about you. It only takes one minute to tell someone you care about them. Even a few seconds can be enough to leave an eternal mark on someone’s heart if those seconds are meaningful.
The person who truly loves you wants to share his time with you. They feel comfortable and calm when they are with you. People who do it out of self-interest will feel like they are wasting their time, which is why they are not always there for you.
Be with those who add value to your life – not those who remove value
Those who truly love you add value to your life. Those who love you only because of self-interest will remove value from your life. Those who act out of self-interest risk ending up being alone.
Life is full of wonderful people. But also by those who have not yet woken up to be able to feel what love and appreciation of others can give them. They have not found out that love is sincere in wanting to be together. But you have the power to choose who you want a relationship with. Do not forget that the person who truly values you gives of himself without demanding anything from you. They give. They are not asking for anything. They appreciate you. They do not destroy you. Those who truly love you not only say it, they show it too.