No injured person heals himself by transmitting his pain to others, much less by transmitting it to the people they love. But it is possible for us to have found ourselves in this situation, even if we do not want it or do not even notice it to begin with.
It is very sad to feel bad about oneself. But it is even more sad to become aware that, as if it were a defense mechanism, we protect ourselves by using an unnatural instrument: to put tension on our relationships with others. To transfer to them the frustration and pain we carry within us because we believe that no matter what happens, they will forgive us.
Think about it: do you not feel bad about having pushed someone out of your life as a result of an emotional block from which you saw no escape? Or is it not true that someone has hurt you so much at some point that you then put up walls against anyone who might have deserved a chance?
“Open your heart and do not be afraid to let anyone ruin it. Broken hearts are healed. Protected hearts end up turning to stone. ”
Our heart is one of our most valuable organs. We understand it as the representation of our emotional center. It is the emotional companion that we need to take the most care of. Therefore, it is not healthy to shut your heart inside. Because if you do, in addition to letting the cold in, you will only be able to offer cold. If you suffer, it is important that you heal yourself. Failure to do so will harm the people around you.
One heals oneself from within
When we explode outward in some way, we do not do so as a result of an external provocation. Rather because a wound inside us bursts. Imagine we fall down, we strike, and we leave it at that. We neither clean nor cover it. What happens then?
First of all, it can get inflamed. It will require a lot more work to heal. Or someone could walk past us and touch it by accident. In that case, it would hurt. We would react negatively to the person who touched us. Despite the fact that the problem is not the person who touched us, but rather our lack of care for our wounds when we should have cared for it.
“Every time a person causes harm to another person, he does it from his own wound. The deeper it is, the more harmful. ”
–Miguel Ángel Núñez–
The heart needs to accept the situation that makes it uncomfortable. Most of the healing process is about understanding what solutions allow it to overcome and what makes it suffer. Stopping to reflect on the situation we want to put behind us requires great effort and sacrifice on our part. By not dedicating ourselves to this, it may seem as if the situation is over. But in reality, it will remain, and it will not let us move on.
No one wants to see us this way. Why let others pay for it?
Theoretically, it would be wonderful for everyone if we could all keep this idea in mind: if people in my life are there, it’s because they love me and are happy to see me do well; it is not right to pay them back with my bad mood or to try to correct what is bothering me at their expense.
In honor of the beloved author of The Little Prince, we wish to return to a premise he left behind throughout his work: although the primary reaction of the animal animal, including man, is to create a defense barrier after being harmed by another , not all people will harm us, nor will they be blamed for what happens in our lives.
“It’s crazy to hate all roses because you were scratched with a thorn. To give up your dreams because it was not fulfilled ”
-The Little Prince-
By refusing to establish new relationships or setting up walls in front of those closest to one, one will not know how to heal oneself. Nor should one prevent everything that bothered one again. Nor is it helpful to be against those who help us, or to hide the problem in order to convince us that it no longer exists. Ask yourself: Can this happen to you?
Treat yourself! You deserve it
If your answer to the previous question is indecisive or yes, prepare to truly pamper yourself. Only by taking care of yourself, by giving yourself a chance, listening to yourself, appreciating yourself and loving yourself, do you succeed in leading a good life in harmony with others.
We deserve to learn to say “no” when necessary. We need to teach our heart to make mistakes, to hit the bottom and to get out of it. For that is what creates emotional balance. To regulate the good and the bad of the experiences we have. Try to change the main rule: If we are worried about others, we will take care of ourselves, but at no point must we stop taking care of ourselves.
Choking others because someone is hurting us is bad behavior that does not solve anything. Remember that a heart that does not know what to do with its pain or how to heal itself, and which attacks others instead of healing, will only end up doing itself greater harm.