As Bernabe Tierno says in his book “The Wise Apprentice”, no one can question the need for love. Just as we need food, light, water and sun. Love is a spontaneous and natural feeling. Therefore, do not forget this: cherish those who seek you, and love those who do not let you go.
It is as illogical to demand another person’s love as it is to prevent another person from loving us. For all love arises spontaneously from our inner freedom. We cannot control what we feel, nor the emotions we produce in other people.
Protect those who show interest in you and do not let you go
It is sometimes accepted that love is suffering and that in order to love, we must suffer. But this is a flawed approach that distances us from a healthy and balanced relationship. Love and share. Enjoy life as a couple. Love, but preserve your own space. Never stop being yourself.
With friends and partners , we accept situations where we must always show interest and only we say “I love you”. And where it seems like only us want to share things with the other person.
It is very difficult to accept that if someone does not call you, it is because they will not talk to you. That if they’re looking for excuses not to stay, it’s because they do not want to see you. And if they do not say, “I love you,” it is because they do not feel it.
Our ego does not accept that people might want to ignore us. We look for excuses, such as “He’s probably busy,” “He probably hasn’t heard the cell phone,” “He does not say he loves me because he’s scared.” But it is important to be realistic. To see the situation as it is. If someone does not love us or does not see us as being valuable, we can not force them to do so. You have to recognize when some do not need that they do not let you go.
Love those who will stand by your side
Someone who really wants to be by his side and not let you go calls you to hear how you are doing. They stand by your side in difficult times. They look you in the eye and listen to what you have to say. They respect you and love you for who you are. They admire you, and show it directly. In short, he or she loves you.
If anyone wants to be by your side, they are there. You can count on each other on a daily basis, whether you are friends or lovers. If you want to spend time with someone, then seek them out. You share moments with them without worrying about time. Hours can go by without you noticing.
In the case of couples, it is very important, as Walter Riso points out, that when we love, we are able to separate “being one”, which erases our individuality and reduces us to one person, and ” to be bound together in love ”, which indicates that one has a bond where both persons maintain their own identity and also their differences.
Seek reciprocity in your relationships
For a relationship between lovers or friends to work, both must be generous in sharing. Walter Riso makes an analogy, using Aristotle and St. Thomas thought, in his “Practical Guide to how not to die of love”. He says that just love is one that combines both distributive justice (sharing responsibilities and benefits proportionally in the relationship) and communicative justice (avoiding fraud in all forms).
For Riso, a relationship is based on reciprocity when the exchange of love and possessions is balanced and fair. That is, when privileges are distributed in a fair way and access to rights and duties is the same for both people, when neither of them is trying to exploit each other and no one thinks they deserve more than the other.