When parents get divorced, it is often a very traumatic experience for the child. The family they have seen as the cornerstone of their entire lives is being torn down. And they can do nothing. They get bored, insecure and very vulnerable. Unfortunately, some parents also take advantage of the situation and hurt their former partner. The result is parental alienation.
It is almost unthinkable that parents can be so selfish. Unfortunately, hatred and bitterness towards the other party is sometimes stronger than the love for their children. Many parents are not even aware of the harm they are causing. For them, their own torments are more important than those of their children.
They tell the child that the mother or father will not see them. They lie and try to make them lose respect for the other parent. The psychological consequences it has for the child can be problematic. It can create a pathological hatred towards the one parent who falls victim to parental alienation.
What is parental alienation?
Parental alienation syndrome is a form of psychological abuse of children. It is the manipulation of children’s fragile minds for the purpose of changing their perception of one parent.
This type of abuse can come from one or both parents. The abusive person does not think twice about ridiculing the child if it expresses feelings for the other parent. Many will even use the environment in the family to strengthen their contempt. Other family members and friends may end up being complicit in the abuse.
The parent will also go into detail about the reasons for the divorce and make themselves the victim. The hope is that the child will feel sorry for them and blame the other. It’s basically just about revenge. The real tragedy, however, is that it is the child who is going to suffer the most. They are the real victims and they should never have been put in such a toxic situation.
What leads parents to this behavior?
The right thing to do in a divorce is to separate two very important concepts. Being a bad partner does not mean that you are a bad parent. Of course , this does not apply in situations of abuse. If you have been abused by your partner, it is logical that you are afraid that it will happen again with the child.
In other situations, it is almost always a sign that the divorce will not go well if one parent is deprived of the right to see their children. Selfishness and a great many on self-esteem can often emerge in such situations, and it is in addition to the lack of sensitivity and empathy, which is very harmful to the child.
The alienated parent may also have some form of personality disorder. The most common form in these situations is narcissism and borderline personality disorder.
What can I do if I am a witness or a victim of this behavior?
If a person in court is accused of this type of child abuse, it can affect the decision on custody. Before you start threatening your parent or notifying the authorities, try to talk to them. Try to make them realize that their behavior is not acceptable. They need to understand that it is the child who ends up taking the most harm.
If they continue their manipulation, it must be up to the judge to decide what to do. Children may refuse to live with one parent because of the hatred the other has instilled in them. F orældrefremmedgørelse is a very complex problem that usually requires some form of psychological help.
Parental alienation syndrome can have major, damaging consequences for children. Anxiety and fear can affect their relationship to many things and inhibit their emotional development.
Feeling ridiculed when they express positive feelings for the other parent also affects their self-esteem. Many also take these traumas with them into adulthood, where it creates an incompatible gap between them and the vulnerable parent.
Parental alienation is not something to be taken lightly. A separation or divorce should not become a psychological battle between two people who at some point in their lives chose to enter into a relationship. It certainly should not involve the children and add more harm to them than they already experience.