Text messages that say “Good morning, I miss you” or “How is your day?” are simple outreach that enriches our romantic relationship. However, the increase in text messages in relationships and the dependence on the double blue tick can lead to extreme situations. In particular, it can lead to absolute control and misunderstandings that can lead to conflicts.
A recent study published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior revealed how much our relationship is changing. In this study, Americans between the ages of 18 and 45 asked about the importance of text messaging services in their daily lives.
In particular, they asked about text messages in relationships. The results could not be more conclusive. Using text messaging services is the key to any relationship and a tool to measure their quality.
Text messaging is an indispensable form of communication for most of us. We especially use this tool to communicate with our family, colleagues and friends. We also use it with our romantic partners.
The immediate reactions and the closeness it creates strengthen relationships that are in the early stages. However, it seems to get complicated as we strengthen our bonds and reach the stage where we spend more time with each other.
Relationship Text Messages: How Does It Affect Us?
Text messages are delicate and intimate, but create distance at the same time. In addition to strengthening relationships, they can give us a loving impetus in those moments of the day when we need them most. In addition, they can enrich the bond with our romantic partner.
However, there is an unavoidable side effect. Party therapists are seeing an increasing phenomenon. They are aware that text messages in the relationship are often a double-edged sword.
Many of our disagreements and problems stem from the close connection that surrounds us. Digital communication tools have a strange property. It is more so specific that they reflect our authentic personality. We channel our fears and obsessions through them.
To better understand this, all we need to do is reflect on all the ways text messaging services affect our relationship.
Ways in which text messages disrupt our relationship
- Constant contact. At the beginning of a relationship, we probably send our partner messages every half hour. However, it is very likely that at some point it will be impossible to maintain this flow of communication. When that happens, one of the two partners may start to get suspicious, panic, and wonder if something is wrong.
- Our patience is tested. With the rise of text messaging in relationships, our commitments are being put to the test. Especially with the famous double blue tick that appears when our partner has read our message. Failure to respond to a message after reading it may arouse suspicion and frustration.
- Who are they online with? Seeing our partner online with someone other than us can create awkward and conflicting situations. In fact, some people stop being productive at their jobs due to the fact that they are constantly checking to see if their partner is online.
- Text messaging services are not effective communication channels. Despite popular belief, these apps can cause constant error communication. Various communication errors do not happen so often when we talk face to face. This is because we can decode our partner’s basic non-verbal face-to-face communication.
- Passive-aggressive behavior. Text messaging services are the perfect places to manifest passive-aggressive behavior. There are many studies that support this. Eg. manipulation either through harassment or by disconnecting is a common and immature behavior that can lead to painful situations.
When we have our love life in our pocket
The fact that we have a mobile phone or computer does not mean that we utilize it in a good way, especially when it comes to the use of text messaging services such as WhatsApp. We have our partners with us in our pockets. Love is portable in the 21st century and we do not always make good use of it.
Therefore, the new technologies or constant advances are not guilty. We are the ones who are to blame because we do not evolve in step with these amazing resources that, after all, exist to make our lives easier.
Today, text messages in relationships make our uncertainties visible. In addition, it can turn jealousy into a weapon of mass destruction through messages, voicemails and emojis.
We should try to avoid these situations by educating young people better. Above all, we should try to make this resource an enriching mechanism for our relationship by starting with ourselves.
We can do this by controlling our emotions, trusting our partner and understanding that authentic communication, the most satisfying type, is the one we have face to face and not through an app.