You Say I’ve Changed, But It’s Your Fault

You say I've changed, but it's your fault

Sometimes you look  back and try to remember who you were.  However, it is not just about remembering the good days. Sometimes you try to remember your personality in those times in relation to the way you feel and react now. Have I gotten wiser? Has my smile lost its innocence? Am I paying more attention and being less optimistic?

But there are people who make us change. Sometimes we have relationships that are far from building us up. Instead, they build grief, loneliness, and fear.  And we are not just talking about romantic relationships or about men and women who plan and are emotional manipulators. We also talk about family relationships; they are the ones who can really hurt and rob you of your childhood and joy.

Our personality is not built with strong walls; we are all vulnerable to our past experiences, disappointments or traumas, both from childhood and adulthood.  That’s why we’re changing. Because something deep inside us is collapsing, but we are still trying to hide behind our broken walls…

It has no doubt happened to you at least once. In the middle of a conversation, someone may have said in an annoyed tone,  “You just are not the same anymore,” “You used to be as funny,” or “You do not have the same energy and spark as you usually do.” What they do not know is  that they may be responsible for that change of personality.

Conditions that do not promote personal development

There are certain conditions that keep us from moving forward and growing as an emotionally strong, secure, and happy person. This is because we  are constantly helping others  to become so instead. Whatever it is our partners, family members or even friends. There are people who are clearly hurtful to you and  can change your focus in life.  Nevertheless, loving relationships are the ones that have the greatest impact on our emotions and can make us change the most.

Have you ever wondered  how these changes manifest in your personality?  Notice these following steps:

1. Changes in our emotional register

It is possible that you used to characterize yourself as an emotionally open person. Maybe you were receptive, optimistic, happy. But then  you experienced a little too many negative interactions, where you received criticism instead of recognition, and your personality began to change.

You do not express your feelings. You save them. Love is not filled with notions, but instead with anxiety and insecurity. And there is nothing worse than knowing what to expect and then seeing the balance change. We have invested thousands of dreams, hopes and efforts, but only get sorrow in return.

To exploit our cognitive one-sidedness

If you have had a strong vision of yourself, where your self-confidence made you expect great things from yourself, your vision is now suddenly dazzled. You look in the mirror and see someone who is frustrated and unable to get out of the vicious circle due to  a lack of self-confidence that has developed into an inferiority complex.

Changes in self-perception

If I offer optimism, openness, love, and humility but only receive reluctance, ridicule, and criticism in return, the first thing I realize is that the  person who said they loved me really does not. Or at least not in the way I expected. Then it is very possible that you will have a negative image of yourself for having made the wrong choice, for having been naively caught and invested time in someone who did not deserve your efforts and feelings.

I would not like the other person either, but I want a negative image of myself, which is much worse because the emotional burden makes us victims.

4. I have changed and am moving forward

You have been disappointed and hurt. You have probably met your share of this type of people because they come in all shapes and colors. But  it is important that we reflect on the following aspects when we know that something has changed inside us:

  • Maybe you are not the person you were who enjoyed being open to life. D u is not so innocent, and you know how painful disappointment does. The first thing you need to do is walk away from the situation that is causing you pain. Do not be a victim; get away.
  • Accept your past. It is a part of you and you must be responsible for it. You have suffered, you have been disappointed, and you have tasted most kinds of grief. What do you get out of denying it? Acknowledge it, day by day,  release the pain  and ease your burden.
  • You are not defined by your grief. You have accepted it and leave it in the past. You are in the now, you are “here and now.” Your pain from the past has to stay in the past  and you need to learn from it and gain more confidence in the future.

Have you changed? Maybe. We all do. But you are not going to let yourself be led down a path of sorrow or leave your dreams in the dust. You will love yourself more. D u is the author of your life and your happiness.

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